I loved this post so much I decided to copy it from my LiveJournal, since I left that to come here(though you can still read the old posts at www.livejournal.com/users/mercygurl)
The Joy of Discipline
God has been teaching me about discipline, really badly these past few weeks. And I was thinking today about the root of discipline. You have to want something badly enough to make yourself do it. I mean, I know that one of the basic points of discipline is you have to do something, whether you want to or not, but in my life, I never started getting disciplined because I never had a real reason to.
I’d say “I want God” and “I know someday I’ll have an amazing powerful relationship with God.” but it’s gotten to the point lately where I’m asking myself “When is that point? I’m going to be a youth pastor in less than 6 years. Why do I keep saying when I grow up I’ll…when I might be saying that my whole life. I need to start getting this relationship going.” Harry Emerson Fosdick said “No steam or gas drives anything until it is confined. No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined.”
Now don’t think I mean that I’m not in love with God. I love him SO much. He is the reason I live. But when it comes down to the fellowship stuff. Having quiet time every day. Reading my bible every day. Spending time with him. Praying about everything, and praying passionately.
I guess because when I first became a Christian back in ‘99, my youth group was SO vibrant and passionate. The Holy Spirit was moving and the worship was amazing and the truth was being spoken and heard and lives were being changed. It was easy to worship and have this great relationship with God because you could always feel his presence. And then a bunch of crap happened and basically all the emotion was gone (that was in 2001). God was still there, of course, but no longer was it his manifest presence. And so with that the whole “coasting along” kind of stopped, and I was stuck.
To tell you the truth, since then I’ve whined to God. Like “God, why aren’t you coming to us and touching us and just sending your manifest presence here to us?” and he recently has been telling me “You move. You make that initiative.”
All through the Bible, God makes conditional promises. Most people think that when God makes a promise, it’s going to happen no matter what. Well guess what, God makes conditional promises. Don’t agree with me? Look in the Bible. “If you will return to me, I will return to you.” is the prime example. “If you will then I will.” And it’s really hit me lately that if I DO want God badly enough, I have to be willing to become disciplined. My love is the driving force of my discipline.
I know I’ve just started having my prayer/bible time every day(Before I’d have like a 3 hour prayer time once every 2 weeks, rather than what I have now, a 20 minute quiet time every day) but I think that I’ve got that drive to accomplish it. There’s a quote that says, “It’s not the work that’s hard, it’s the discipline.” and I’ve found it’s really true. I like praying, I like reading my bible, but my excuses in the past have kept me down. “Oh well, I’m so tired.” “Missing one day won’t hurt.” “God said to be constantly praying and I did today!” “I read my bible a lot in church on Wednesday.” etc. I think part of the reason I’ve started now is because I realized how empty my spiritual life was when I didn’t go to church. It wasn’t because of my choice–it was because of my job this summer I couldn’t go on Wednesdays, and I was gone every Sunday. There was a period in there where I hadn’t gone to church in a MONTH. That had never happened before. And it just hit me that church was the basis of my spiritual life. My pastor has ALWAYS said that if the majority of your prayer life happens at church, something needs to change, because you can never be effective for God unless you have private time with him.
It’s not like I’ve run out of excuses. The other night I really didn’t want to pray or read my bible. I wasn’t as dead tired as I’ve been before and still done it, I just didn’t want to. But I decided that praying for my friends and spending time with God was more important than any beauty sleep that probably wouldn’t have made a difference. I could say “Well, my bible is falling apart, I’ll just wait until I have a new one” (And I have thought that) but that doesn’t matter. The words are still there, even if sections aren’t connected to my bible and pages are barely scotch taped-on(Yes, it truly is falling apart and I do need another one–I just can’t find the one I want in softcover)
If you read through all this, I commend you. And I encourage you to rediscover the joy of discipline. I know I have. Like the Bible says, “for his love compels us”
…Au Revoir,Sarah
