Good enough to save.

March 26, 2007 at 8:26 pm (Christianity, Jesus, music, perfectionism)

No matter what I do my weakness is stronger than me
How can I be changed? All of my goodness has failed.
Will You turn your anger to mercy and look upon me?
For I am your child, I am the work of your hands
No matter what I do your love is stronger than me,
Bigger than my faults… only your love will not fail.

You are the one, You are the only one
Who can bring me to my knees
You are the one, You are the only one
Who can rescue me, rescue me from me
You are the one, You are the only one
Who will color love, You cover me

You are the one, You are the only one
Who can pull me from the grave
You are the one, You are the only one
Who thinks I’m good, good enough to save
You are the one, You are the only one
Who will color love, You cover me

Strong Weakness, written by Ryan Lott, Todd Berger, and Robin Pasley, from Village Thrift.

My roommate has been listening to that song recently–she got the cd early this year. I guess music is contagious because I, too, have been listening to it all this week. There’s something so intimate about the words, really. And the music is incredibly complex.

My favorite part is where it says “You are the only one who thinks I’m good enough to save”. What powerful words. I have, this semester, been enamored with the idea of truth. Of feeding myself truth, of living in God’s truth, of spreading truth. I so often live and am content to live with lies. But God wants me to dwell in the truth of Himself, because that’s when I’m free.

That line has great personal meaning to me, also. There are so many times where I don’t think I’m good enough to save. I don’t believe that I have great worth in Christ, even though I know it logically. The truth is something I know but don’t live. It’s such a paradoxical thing to believe. And hard, too. But God is slowly trying to get the truth from head knowledge to knowing it in a strong, personal way. He thinks I am good enough to save.

If God, the infinite, personal, transcendent, immanent, omniscient, omnibenevolent God believes that I am good enough to save, then what else matters? To say that I am not worth saving is to say that my word matters more than His does, which considering I am finite and non-transcendent and sinful, is ridiculous. He says I have great worth. That means I must see myself as having great worth.
I hope you can see what God is trying to teach me–that He gave His Son for you because of His immense love for you–He thinks you are worth saving.
Quin ‘ ec,
Sarah

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A conversation between best friends

March 22, 2007 at 6:49 pm (Jesus, change, romance, writing)

“Stop.”
“What?”
“Say that again, what you said before. Stop and write it down.”
“What, that I’m realizing that?”
“No, before that, ‘I have–”
“–oh, I have a glorious hope in Christ, and it doesn’t matter whether I get the boy now, or ever?“
“Yes, that. It sounds like a movie.”
“Well, it’s true. I feel like my whole world has shifted, and I see it so differently now. I can’t really even explain how it works, how it changed so much and even what way it changed, but it did.”
“Like new paradigms of thinking.”
“Yeah, exactly like that. It’s like I am finally realizing what it means to trust. I thought I knew, but I didn’t. I was living trust only in the sense of patience. I was saying that I was trusting God, but what I really meant was that I was waiting patiently for him to give me a boy. I wasn’t truly trusting in him.”
“It’s such a different aspect of not only God’s character, but how you view life.”
“Oh totally! I just keep thinking of those verses in the New Testament that talk about hope: ‘and this hope does not disappoint us…’ ‘Christ in you, the hope of glory…’. I had been so frustrated about hoping–I didn’t want to hope for this boy anymore. I just was so tired of hoping, only to be disappointed when the guy didn’t like me back. But to be reminded that the hope of eternity with God will not disappoint me, because it is grounded in Christ, was huge. I feel like the enormity of what that means has been actually made real to me, for the first time. And it’s wonderful.”
“Well, His mercies are new every morning. “
“Oh amen! That has never been more true than now.”

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A picture…

March 21, 2007 at 10:45 pm (photography)

I’m still processing what God taught me today. Here’s some older pictures to give you something to look at.
outdoors-003b.jpg

outdoors-008b.jpg

Photographs by me, taken the day after I got my first digital camera, last year.

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Sustainer…

March 20, 2007 at 9:56 pm (Christianity, Jesus, healing, music)

To the only God
Who is able
able to keep us from falling

To the only God
be glory and honor
majesty and power
For all ages and forevermore.

Lyrics by Chris Tomlin, recorded by David Crowder and Shane & Shane, from Glory Revealed, The Word of God in Worship

I’ve had one of those really rough days today, one of those where you think it’s fine until it’s at the end and you realize all the crappy things that happened. I haven’t had one of those in a long time. And I was reminded today how much it sucks.

That song has been on repeat in my iTunes for the past few days, along with the whole Glory Revealed album. If you haven’t gotten it, you are missing out. It’s got great songs taken straight from the Bible, which is the best part.

Tonight’s one of those nights where I need to hear truth. I need to be reminded of the truth of the gospel, of the truth of God’s love, and the truth that He is my only sustainer. Everything else will fail me, but God will always be there to hold me up. To “keep me from falling”. That song is actually taken from Jude 24-25: “To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy—to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.”

Without fault. With great joy. Because of the work of Jesus, I can stand before God with confidence in both of those things. How amazingly beautiful. I need to be reminded of that. I need to be reminded how big the God I serve is.

I pray that you would be reminded of God’s wonderful grace, and that His truth would resonate in your life.
Shalom,
Sarah

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Green eyes…

March 19, 2007 at 9:22 pm (music, photography, romance)

Will you stay with me
On the balcony
We’ll sink in our seas
as the people all leave
We can hide out as the curtain comes down
and fall asleep to sleeping sounds
When the mornings growing near
We’ll see if the coast is clear

Green eyes are better than blue
I ain’t trying to be mean I’m just telling the truth
its enough to make me run away with you
darling green eyes are better than blue

She says this isn’t easy i know
loving the hands that you ain’t supposed to hold
and i’ll pray for the days that i wont sleep alone
she says this isn’t easy at all

Green eyes are better than blue
I ain’t trying to be mean, just telilng the truth
its enough to make me run away with you
i said green eyes are better than blue

Johnny says dont bring her down
When the pedestal crumbles and falls to the ground
you will wish that you left her the way that you found her
johnny says dont bring her down

Green eyes are better than blue
I ain’t trying to be mean, just telilng the truth
its enough to make me run away with you
i said green eyes are better than blue

Well I saw you in the water last night
you were smiling at me as you slipped out of sight
when i woke from my dream i was screaming for life
cuz i saw you in the water last night

Green eyes are better than blue
I ain’t trying to be mean, just telilng the truth
its enough to make me run away with you
I said green eyes are better than blue

Balcony/Green Eyes lyrics by Joe Purdy.

sunny-eyes-012b.jpg

You ever wish you had a song written for you? I do. I’ve always wanted someone to write me a song. But so far, it has not happened. So I have officially adopted this song. It has the catchiest chorus of any song ever. This is my suggestion for the day: Download this song (you can get it on iTunes), and listen to it and pretend that Joe wrote it for me.

You won’t be sorry!
Adio,
Sarah
P.S. The above is a self-portrait, taken last summer.

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Caution.

March 15, 2007 at 3:30 pm (photography, pretty things)

lomo2b.jpg

If you’re not careful to stop and take the time to look at things in a new light, you’ll miss out on some fabulous opportunities to create something great.

The above picture was taken on a back trail at my school–a piece of caution tape that looked like just a plain piece of trash.
See the world through a different lens.

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A girl’s brain

March 13, 2007 at 10:18 pm (family, romance, writing)

‘I’d settle for an ordinary love story’ she thought to herself. ‘I used to want a grand one, full of pumpkins that turn into carriages and glass slippers that fit perfectly. I used to want the most handsome prince in the land, full of charm, chivalry, and good dancing skills. I used to dream of running into him, of my bag flying everywhere and us bumping heads as we grabbed all my stuff. Our eyes would meet as we reached across a pad of Post-It notes and he would say, in that deep, rich voice, ‘The super-sticky ones are the best’. I would smile and agree, and like If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, we’d be off. Our relationship would be filled with charming surprises and perfect dates, when my hair and my makeup would cooperate with my complexion. In the end, he’d propose with a big wall of Post-Its that spell out ‘Will You Marry Me?’, the perfect new beginning to how we first met. Our wedding would be big, glamorous, and everything a girl could ever wish for. Then we’d go to start our new life together, to begin that happily ever after.’

‘That’s what I used to want. I assured myself that I would never settle for anything less than that perfect fairytale. But then I realized that life didn’t work that way. There’s a reason those stories are only in books, or the most fabulous of movies. Because they only happen once in a few billion lifetimes. I realize that now, and now all I want is ordinary. I want an ordinary story, full of awkward moments and unsure stumbles. The boy that I once longed to be charming and perfect I now want to be flawed. If he’s not perfect, he and I will fit better together. I’m not that great of a dancer anyway. The shoes will pinch my feet and the car will break down and he’ll be late and I’ll be late and at times we’ll wonder if this is supposed to be at all. I’ll have pimples and holy mess of hair and my makeup will run down my face as I cry at the lame movie that I dragged him to see. Our dates won’t always be romantic, he won’t always ask the right questions, and his charm will fade away.’

‘His proposal might come as we’re hanging out watching TV, not in a grand gesture of romance. We might not even remember where we first met. Our wedding might be pretty, but not particularly memorable, and the honeymoon suite might not be all it’s cracked up to be. There will be tears, yelling, apologies, and laughs. It won’t be a story to make everyone swoon with that sigh of romance. But it will be mine.’

‘Maybe I shouldn’t give up on that Prince Charming, that handsome devil. Or maybe I should realize that Prince Charming was charming only because he was Cinderella’s prince. And whoever is out there will be the right guy, not because he’s perfect, but because he’s the one for me. Maybe my story won’t be a fairytale, but it will be my story, and I’d rather have my story any day than some fairytale. Maybe I haven’t traded a good story for a bad, but instead traded a fantasy for reality. Maybe I am getting closer to that ‘ever after’. Maybe.’

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Finished!

March 13, 2007 at 11:54 am (Uncategorized)

It’s finally finished enough to launch! The project that Traci and I have been working on, ThirdDayFans.com, has now launched! There’s some great content there, so check it out!

I’m just happy it’s done–hooray!!

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Whoa baby…

March 2, 2007 at 11:27 pm (graphic design, photography)

Heard the news? Adobe is going to put Photoshop online. It isn’t going to be a full version, but looks to be a pretty interesting step in terms of how the web works.

I personally am all for all kinds of things being hosted online. I already watch a ton of TV shows online (I’m going to write a review soon of the different networks’ online video offerings) and look forward to messing with how they put Photoshop online. They say it’ll be powered by ads, but it still seems to me like it would cost a ton of money. And how long would it take to load?? Even on a fast connection, it would logically appear as if it would take a very long time to even load.

I’m definitely keeping an eye on this–you should too.
TTFN!
-Sarah

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Satisfied…

March 2, 2007 at 11:18 pm (Christianity, Jesus)

I’m right now recovering from the flu, which is why you haven’t heard from me in awhile. I apologize–sleeping in bed all day doesn’t really give one much blog fodder.

But I am feeling much better, which is good. I also was thinking today about being satisfied by God. So many times I find myself simply being “content” with God. I don’t have a boyfriend, but I remind myself that it’s ok, God loves me. I don’t get an A, but God doesn’t care about that. I’m having a bad hair day, but God still loves me. All of those are true, yes, but they miss the point.

I’m not to merely be content with God. He isn’t some second-place consolation prize, as much as I want him to be. For He is so much more. He satisfies all the deepest needs of my soul in a way that nothing else can. Far from being something to settle for, He is the sole provider of all that I need. No man, no job, no grade, no amount of money, no perfect hair day, nothing else can fully fill all the longings of my heart more than He can. His love and His mercy are all I need.

We have this song we sing at school sometimes, an old hymn called “Satisfied”. In case you’ve never heard it, here are the lyrics:

All my life long I had panted
For a drink from some cool spring
That I hoped would quench the burning
Of the thirst I felt within

Hallelujah He has found me
The one my soul so long has craved
Jesus satisfies all my longings
Through His blood I now am saved

Feeding on the filth around me
Till my strength was almost gone
Longed my soul for something better
Only still to hunger on

Poor I was and sought for riches
Something that would satisfy
But the dust I gathered ’round me
Only mocked my soul’s sad cry

Well of water ever springing
Bread of life so rich and free
Untold wealth that never faileth
My Redeemer is to me

Even now I constantly am longing for God. I should say especially now. He is truly, my soul’s sufficiency. Not just what I can have because I can’t get anything else. To treat Him and His abundant love and extravagant grace as a second-place trophy is an insult. It is holding up these other things as idols and saying to God “You may be enough, but you aren’t truly the thing I was made for. Our relationship is good, but it doesn’t satisfy all of my deepest longings.”

But it does. It does satisfy every need I could ever have, even more than anything else ever could. He is not second-best. He satisfies all my longings in the deepest way.
Odabo,
Sarah

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