This picture really has nothing to do with this post, but I wanted to post it because I like it.
What’s the difference between a holy and an unholy kiss?
Tongue.
Not really–the punchline to the joke is “about 3 seconds”, but in one of my classes last week I boldly exclaimed that tongue was the right answer, to be rewarded with a really red face (and this is coming from one who doesn’t embarrass easily). Awkward, let me just tell you. Anyway, that doesn’t have anything really to do with this either.
The point is, I had to apologize today. Not in a “hey, sorry” sort of way, but in a more serious way. It was embarrassing to do it–not so much because I was afraid of the reaction of the friend, but because I was ashamed that it even was an issue. It shouldn’t have been.
My parents always spent a large amount of their didactic moments with us (when we had “family church” at my Grandma’s, etc) talking about the power of words. My dad always taught from Ephesians 4. I remember rolling my eyes as a kid wondering why we were going over it again and don’t we have all this already?
But yesterday I said something to this friend to whom I have a habit of saying awful things. We joke and we kid around but really the words we speak are not edifying. Sassy? Most definitely. Uplifting? No. Disrespectful? Yes. Caring? Certainly not. I think in the end we both know (and have acknowledged) that our goal is not to hurt the other. We’re competitive, but in the end we don’t want to do damage to the other person.
But even if my intentions are not to deeply wound him, and even if he took what I said in good fun (and I what he says in return), there is still something missing. The Bible is clear–words should bring life and hope. Remember James? This is not a joke. If my faith is real I can have fun, and I think a sharply placed jest can be fine. But mean words, spiteful words, vulgar words? They should have no place.
So today I apologized.
Maybe tomorrow I will apologize again.
And the day after that.
And the day after that.
And the day after that until maybe one day I won’t have so much to apologize to others for, at least in this area.
Words are powerful. Don’t abuse them.
-Sarah
