I’ve really been thinking since I’ve been home about how God is teaching me to trust in Him, to rest in His promises and believe His truth about who I am. This whole year it’s been an undercurrent of what He’s been teaching me, but it’s really come to a sort of climax this break.
When I don’t believe God and trust in Him, when my hope is in something else, I sin. I sin big. When I refuse to recognize that His way is best, I get frustrated and angry. I become manipulative and honestly straight up crazy. I try to control the people and situations and I can’t let things go. Instead of loving people I can only think of what I can get out of them. I become stressed and have no idea how to rest.
But when my hope is in God, when I trust that He is a sovereign God who is big enough to handle not only all of my big problems but every area of my life, I have rest. I have peace. I can love others because I’m not trying to get something from them. I can love myself because I see myself through the lens of the gospel. I am less stressed out, and I can handle it when things don’t go my way. I can know that He is a good God who has good things for me.
I’m not there. I know it’s not a “there” but really a process, but I feel as if I’m just beginning this process. But I am farther than I was last year at this time. It’s progress, all by grace. These are things I am being taught by the Holy Spirit, not somehow working up. He is gently speaking to my heart and my mind.
When I trust in God, when my hope is only in Him, I can live, truly live. Not live with an agenda, but freely live. I want to freely live and to freely love and just learn to be a child of the King who trusts in Him for all of my needs. He certainly is trustworthy.
-Sarah
Chad said,
December 27, 2007 at 3:52 pm
very well put Sarah
beverlyshaffer said,
December 27, 2007 at 6:46 pm
Amen! How important it is to trust God. It changes everything! Every choice we make, every move we make…
Anna said,
December 27, 2007 at 7:13 pm
Sarah, what amazing thoughts. So relevant to me right now. Thanks for sharing.
graceMark said,
December 28, 2007 at 2:48 pm
It really is very abstract, in my life, how I become most at home when I stop trying to please myself. Truth in peace, I find, yet often don’t allow myself to remember, is when I do for Him and others instead of myself. Kind of weird how it all works out.
Various and Sundry (12/31) « hope road said,
December 31, 2007 at 4:01 pm
[...] Sarah at inexorablyloved wrote a great entry entitled “My Hope is You” about placing one’s hope in the [...]
Tim said,
January 6, 2008 at 9:46 am
hmm…I don’t know you from Adam…or in your case Eve. but i was searching for the title to some lyrics i remembered from long ago. You’d typed out the lyrics on your previous blog sometime more than a year ago, so first, i found the song, which was a plus. Second, in reading several of your blogs i was quite blessed. So i guess this is just a small thank you