On death and dying
February 23, 2008 at 9:18 pm (Christianity, Jesus, future, grace, personal)
“I have no desire to be famous for anything but preaching of the gospel.” - Spurgeon.
I was thinking tonight about death and dying. And I was thinking about how I’d like people to be when I die. Of course when the time comes I won’t really care, but it’s interesting to think about.
I’d like it if my passing somehow impacted those I know…that would mean I didn’t waste my life in nothingness. I’d hope that somehow someone would be sorry that I couldn’t be with them, even if it was more from habit then actual desire for my company.
But really I’d like them to forget me. It’s like when you have a friend who you don’t see for a really, really long time. You try to keep in contact but it becomes “Oh hey, remember that time we were friends?” and you end up never actually sharing time with them. It’s like that when someone passes away, but you can never really talk to them. And you think about them a lot right when they’re gone and you miss them tons but then slowly you think about them less.
And I think it would be ideal if people would eventually forget about me. I’d want them to remember anything good I brought to their lives–any truth that might have come out of this broken and needy clay pot. But not me. Because what happens is so often when people die we idolize them. We “never speak ill of the dead”. We pump up their great attributes and pretend that they were perfect. We talk of what they could have achieved and how great they would have become. We seem to forget (or want to ignore) the fact that they were sinners.
But I am a great sinner. I hope that when I die people remember that. I hope that if they remember anything they remember my sin, and remember the fact that I am a broken and needy and wretched human, whose righteousness before God was as filthy rags. And right alongside that I hope they remember the grace of God. I hope they are reminded that I am in heaven, not because of great things I could have accomplished or the life I hoped to live, but because the blood of Christ covered all that sin and mess. That those sins that are often far too apparent in my life are forgiven. Completely forgiven because of what Jesus did on the cross.
I hope at my funeral that the gospel is preached. It must be. I need to write a will or something in case I die soon, to make sure it happens. I want people who come to know that their sins too can be forgiven. They can be free to be God’s and be His forever and ever. I want the songs that are sung to be songs of God’s great faithfulness and redeeming love. How cool would that be?
Spurgeon, I agree wholeheartedly. I have no desire to be famous for anything but preaching of the gospel. May it be.
Anna said,
February 24, 2008 at 12:17 am
AMEN.
etyw said,
February 25, 2008 at 9:29 am
Hi. I found your blog by clicking links. Very thought provoking post. I sometimes try to imagine what it will be like when I finally stand before the judgment seat of Christ and have to give an account of my life. I’m not thinking about others in my imagination at this time. I have simply failed others too many times to endure that thought. My only hope is that I haven’t disappointed the Lord. That He will tell me not only “Enter good and faithful servant,” but also “Welcome friend.”
Kaylene said,
February 27, 2008 at 1:11 pm
One time I imagined myself crying at my own funeral. Like I could even be there… But it was an awakening in me to get my eyes off of myself. I can be pretty self-centered. I want to be remembered for sharing the gospel too.
I like your thoughtful writing.