November 29, 2008 at 12:35 am (Christianity, Jesus, men, personal, romance)
“Waiting upon God makes men grow small” – Spurgeon.
What wonder is this–waiting for God. It is in this area and period of waiting that God is at work. He is active, not far off. If I am willing to wait, I can see that He is at work more than I could ever imagine.
I’m not really often willing to wait for God. I’m a fairly impatient person, and I like to see things done. In my StrengthsFinder results, I have Acheiver and Activator as two of my top 5 strengths. That means I want to see things completed, and I want to start toward that end now. Appreciating the process is not one of my greatest strength.
But I need to wait for God. There’s a lot of things in my life where I need to wait on God, but there are some things where it is crucial to wait for Him. Isn’t it wonderful though, that He is gracious in how He shows us truth? He isn’t mean about it, but gently guides me to a place where I see the enormity of His goodness in making me wait.
I won’t always know why He’s making me wait, but I know that He is good. I don’t need closure or a resolution or some sort of outward result to what I’m going through–what I need is God to work in me. That is a process that’s worth some time. That’s a process worth the wait.
“Wait for the Lord, be strong, take heart, and wait for the Lord” – Psalm 27:14
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November 23, 2008 at 2:51 pm (Christianity, grace, personal)
Lord, You are so ready to save, so quick to rescue. You aren’t standing so far off, begrudgingly showing us grace–it is so delightful, Your rescue of us. You long to be gracious.
And I? I am still that obstinate child, refusing your love and care. I want to go my own way and follow my own plans.
I don’t know how to accept love like this. I feel like the whole of my life has been You blessing me and me refusing to accept Your love. I still think in earthly terms like this love correlates to something in me. I see my disgusting insides and the beauty of Your love and they just don’t match up. I think there’s supposed to be a correlation and there just isn’t. I’m not sure how to handle that.
So in turn I go between refusing your love and trying to earn it–commending myself for my actions or condemning myself for them. Either way, it’s still all about me.
But Agape is not at all like that. It is completely separate from my actions. It is even separate from my person. It is only because You are love. It flows from Your character.
This is why Your love is so radical in the prophets. It isn’t based at all on the people’s actions. So when they rebel and You are still entirely gracious to them, it makes sense. It has nothing to do with how they live.
It is not about me. I excist to show what radical sort of love this is. What crazy love this is.
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November 20, 2008 at 11:18 pm (personal)
What does it mean to not play by the rules? I’m not talking about actual biblical standards, or holiness, or anything like that, but social rules. What would it do if I stopped being so afraid of doing something wrong, like how I interpret how a believer should act in an area the Bible is silent on? I know that so often I’m a compulsive rule-follower, but why? What if I stop playing by my own self-imposed rules? What about my life could change? What new things could God do in and through me? What sorts of things could I be free from?
I wonder…
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