Dear you,
I know God has done such good things in this whole mess of a situation, but why were you such a jerk to me? It really did kind of suck. And I saw you today and I know that you saw me and I was so tempted to just run up to you and ask you what the heck was going on in your mind? I didn’t deserve to be treated like that. And even if I did, you could have at least dignified my email with a response. I wasn’t asking for an explanation of the deepest corners of your heart…but a simple “I don’t know what you’re talking about” would have been better than nothing.
As it is, it just didn’t end well. And that’s not my fault, it’s yours. I was content to just be friends for a few years in college and say goodbyes (it was obvious you didn’t care for it to be more). But then you had to ruin it. You had to treat me like crap and shove me as far away as possible. And when I sent that email I gave you a second chance to end it well, at least end it decently. And you just ignored it.
It’s a really good thing that God works in messes like this. Otherwise I’d probably be so angry that I couldn’t see straight. Instead, I’m just confused. I’m not bitter towards you (though I have a few friends who probably wouldn’t mind hitting you), I’m just hurt. Grateful that God has proved Himself over and over to me in this whole situation, but still hurt.
And this I’ll never be able to say to you in person, or even in email, because you’ve made it clear that you just don’t care. So instead I’ll send it out into the void, knowing it’ll probably assuage some of my frustration at not knowing.
Goodnight, dear void.
-Sarah
Rachel said,
February 2, 2009 at 12:47 pm
I’m sorry for your hurt. . . I appreciate your honesty, openness and willingness to share something so personal.
Rachel